|I didn't even doctor this image; it's from the Christine O'Donnell Merch Page|
Translated from a Spanish-language news site:
A Brazilian teenager died Friday after masturbating 42 times in a row without a break, police in Brazil.
Authorities said the boy apparently beat a record set out after midnight and began to masturbate non-stop for 42 consecutive times.
Upon confirmation of his death, investigators found in his possession more than a million pornographic videos and 600 000 pictures of nude or scantily clad.After writing about half of this post, I realized the ORIGINAL article came from a rather real-looking Spanish language fake news site. Having to copy and paste something from a website into Google Translate apparently erases any trace of skeptical processing from my brain. The fake article was devoid of fake details, and I kept trying to decide if it was due to cardiac arrest from over-exertion (unlikely in an otherwise healthy teen) or dehydration.
A roommate confessed to the teen liked each other all kinds of women, "fat, skinny, tall, petite, studied, unemployed, color white, all were to his liking, just saw one and made him want to masturbate" he explained.
Here's a disturbing Wikipedia article that is (much less safe-for-work than this site) on actual autoerotic fatalities.
To break a similar record, let's see FOR THE SAKE OF SCIENCE how many one-liners I (with help from the Evolving Scientist blog-squad) can write about this before I keel over (the answer is 41):